Concerned about a Friend?
Have you noticed a friend who seems excessively sad, irritable, stressed-out or just “not themselves”? Who is engaging in unhealthy behaviors, sleeping all-day or self-isolating? If so, express your concern and encourage them to seek help. You’re not alone: Friends are the #1 referral source for students at Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS).
How can I help?
• Consult with professional staff. Please contact one of the staff members below for solid advice or support. It’s often helpful to do so in advance of approaching your friend about the situation.
• Empathize. Listen carefully, and communicate your understanding of the issue as your friend describes it.
• Encourage your friend to talk and accept support. Let them know that it is normal and a sign of strength to seek support from a trusted person when in distress or dealing with difficult life issues.
• Offer options. Your friend may find it helpful to talk with their R.A. or R.D., a Campus Ministry staff member, a trusted academic dean or family member. Offer to help begin the conversation.
• Suggest speaking with a therapist at CPS, where services are free and confidential. Tell your friend that talking to a therapist is a mature and healthy decision, and that therapists can tailor services to their needs.
Provide them with contact information for CPS, or offer to walk them over.
• Follow-up. Ask how they’re doing in the days and weeks ahead, and whether they received assistance and support
When listening isn’t enough…
Sometimes a friend’s problem can feel like more than you can handle on our own. Know your limits. In fact, there are some thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that should NOT stay ‘just between friends.’ Acknowledge that you don’t have the expertise to help sufficiently, but that you care and will help your friend get the help they need. It’s important to know that even serious and persistent mental health problems including major depression and suicidality are treatable conditions with the right professional help
Where to go for help: (In Non-Emergency situations)
Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS)
Rose Hill: 718.817.3725 O'Hare Hall-Bsmt
Lincoln Center: 212.636.6225 McMahon Hall 211
If the situation is urgent, please let the staff member at the front desk know.
Dean of Students/Student Affairs
Rose Hill: Christopher Rodgers 718.817.4755 Keating 100
Lincoln Center: Keith Eldredge 212.636.6250 Lowenstein 408D
Office of Residential Life
Rose Hill: 718.817.3080 Loschert Hall
Lincoln Center: 212.636.7100 McMahon Hall 108
Rose Hill: 718.817.4501 McGinley 102
Lincoln Center: 212.636.6267 Lowenstein 217
Rose Hill: 718.817.4160 O'Hare Hall-Bsmt
Lincoln Center: 212.636.7160 McMahon Hall 203
What to do in an emergency:
Please take it seriously if a friend makes direct or indirect statements, verbally or in an email, text or on facebook such as; “I can’t go on.” “My family would be better off without me.” “Who cares if I’m not around anyway?” or, “If _________, I’ll kill myself.” (e.g. I fail this course, she leaves me.), or shows warning signs that they are feeling hopeless or contemplating harm to themselves or someone else.
During business hours: Call the Office of the Dean of Students/Student Affairs
RH: 718.817.4755 Keating Hall
Lincoln Center: 212.636.6250 Lowenstein 408D
After hours and on weekends: Call University Security (Ask to speak to the supervisor).
Rose Hill: 718.817.2222
Lincoln Center: 212.636.6076