Orientation Welcome 2024

This is one of those moments, right now, right here, that you will remember for the rest of your life. 

My 12-year-old daughter Lucy invented a word that feels particularly appropriate for this feeling of nervous excitement. Nexcited 

Parents – and those of you here who’ve stepped up to the plate to parent – I can’t imagine how you feel. I’m getting teary-eyed at the thought of dropping Lucy off on her first day of seventh grade next week. (Luckily I’ll never face this moment because she has promised never to leave me. Why are you laughing?)

This is a moment of letting go.  And as tempted as you’re going to be to check on them hourly, to call and make their appointments for them, it’s really better for them if you do let go.  When they call you with a problem that’s really low stakes – let them figure it out for themselves. This is, terrifyingly enough, the moment they become adults if we let them. But they can’t achieve that if we don’t let them.

Many of your students worked hard all summer to help you let go, by being as annoying as humanly possible. You’re welcome.

Students – we are so very excited you are here.

Applying for college is a daunting process. Full of ideas about status in the world. Full of questions about where you belong.  

We ask you in the essay to describe your core being, though we’re aware that it’s impossible to do that in 500 words.  

We ask you to describe obstacles you’ve overcome because we are eager to give you credit for your grit, to see you as more than just your grades, but we also know

You are so much more than the worst experience you’ve been through.

Do you know what matters most to us here? That you be yourself – whatever that is.  Quirky and eccentric – show us what you got – whether it’s being quick and analytic, or whether you’re endlessly creative, seeing what others cannot imagine.

You’re in New York, one of the most quirky and eccentric and accepting city on the planet. There is no better place to be fully and gloriously YOU.

And you’re at a Jesuit university that will push you only to be the very best version of you.  We will remind you constantly that we care about you as a whole person, not just the knowledge we will try to stuff into your minds, but the quality of your hearts and spirits, the work of your hands.

(By the way, we say a lot of things around here in Latin, not just because it sounds more impressive, but because our traditions are actually 500 years old.  We have a term for that idea of educating the whole person.  All those of you who went to Jesuit high schools or happen to know it – cura…?”

And one more – MAGIS means more. Always more. More ambition. More hard work. Expecting more of the world and ourselves.  MAGIS.

My hope for you is that Fordham becomes the place where you can breathe, and dream, and create your own personal community. That you can be your full self here – including, for many of you, a person of faith here. That you feel loved – by the faculty, by the staff who support you, by me. And if I had to sum up what it means that Fordham is a Jesuit, Catholic university, it comes down to this – that you feel the absolute love of God.

Class Stats

I need to brag about your class. 

There are about 2500 of you. You are brilliant, with an average GPA of 3.64 on a 4 point scale. For those of you who submitted SATs, an average of 1400.

You have started businesses and nonprofits. You have won championships in everything from fencing to debate.  You’ve advocated against gun violence and for solar power. We chose every single one of you here because you are remarkable, just for being you.

You come from 46 states and the District of Columbia. Ten of you are from Puerto Rico. 

Almost 9% of the class is international, coming from 57 different countries. (I can’t tell you what a good idea it is to make friends with someone from Florence, or Guam, or Beijing.)

I want to especially welcome the 16 students from my home state of Louisiana, and the three graduates from my own public high school, Ben Franklin. Any of you here right now? (Guys – I’m going to need your help to establish some new Mardi Gras traditions around here so we can properly prepare for Lent.)

Something really core to Fordham’s identity -- more than a quarter of you are the first in your family to go to college, carrying the hopes and dreams of generations with you. You will wear that banner with such pride and the rest of us will be in awe.

Some of you are a little bit younger, as I was when I came to college, and many of you are a little bit older. We are especially proud of how many GI-Bill veterans have always come to Fordham. We are in awe of you too. 

This year, we weren’t allowed to know your race as part of the application process or to consider it. We worked extra hard to make this the kind of welcoming place that would attract the best and brightest  students – because we only know we have the best and the brightest when this class looks like your generation. Because there is strength and warmth and welcome in numbers. A few days ago, we finally got to look at the data and I’m thrilled to tell you that you are officially the most diverse class in Fordham’s history. 50% of the class identify as students of color. 

Most of you have moved into residence halls today, but almost a third of you are commuting from home. That’s something I did myself for part of college – to save money, and to have the comforts of family and support. It was also hard – trying to teach my parents to treat me as an adult. Or at least adult-ish. Trying to be fully part of the campus community, when so much of student life happens at night. Finding time and spaces to be with friends. 

So for those of you coming from home, sometimes driving long distances, or taking a train and multiple subways, know that we are cheering you on. All of you navigating residence halls and roommates and shared bathrooms -- go out of your way to make a friend who commutes. If you’re lucky, they will bring you home for dinner. Most of all, they will teach you New York.

Take Advantage of New York

You have chosen to come to the most exciting city in the world.  And for those of you who are from here – when you grew up in, or near, the most exciting city in the world, it’s a really good decision to stay here for college. You haven’t even begun to scratch the surface.

You will have so many opportunities here – from the arts to museums to internships beyond your wildest dreams. You can experience the food and culture of every nation within one square mile. You are at the epicenter of the global economy. The hub of American media. The home of the United Nations.

Your job is to be brave and go out there and do it. Make a bucket list for yourself this week and get started. 

And don’t just be a tourist. Engage with the city – from internships with startups to service. Those of you who signed up for Urban Plunge this week got a great head start.

Rose Hill – Can I just tell you how much I’m falling in love with the Bronx? The birthplace of Sonia Sotomayor and J.Lo. A place full of the most determined and amazing people from all over the world. You can eat cannoli and curry and barbecue all in the same afternoon. You can dance to the hip hop that was born here. You can jump on the train and be in Manhattan in 20 minutes, but you’re going to have far more fun exploring here.

On one side of campus we have urban glory – stepping back in time on Arthur Avenue or trying to identify all the languages being spoken on Fordham Road. On the other side of campus, you also have hundreds of acres of nature -- two of the more extraordinary science and tourist destinations in the country. And you get to go for free as much as you want. The Bronx Zoo, open on Wednesday to all students, the largest urban zoo in the world. And the Botanical Gardens, more than a hundred acres of old-growth forests and amazing landscapes just across the street. You are automatically a member.

Lincoln Center –  All of New York is within your reach, and often within walking distance. Spend hours exploring Central Park.  Go next door to Lincoln Center – for theater and dance, opera and symphonies. They often have “pay what you can afford” tickets. Wander endlessly around the city. It makes me so happy that the streets are numbered, so you can’t get lost. 

Two Campuses

And guess what? The [other] campus is yours too! 

[Go to Lincoln Center – world-class theater program that puts on shows you can’t miss. We have a partnership with the Alvin Ailey school, so you’ll see a group of students with ram-rod posture who are freakishly strong. Their performances will take your breath away. Take the Ram-van and spend time there. It is your campus too.]

[Lincoln Center is so impressive, with green space that is ridiculously expensive and rare, but Rose Hill gets to spread out. I really think it is the most beautiful campus in America, in more movies and TV shows than you can imagine (as is this campus for that matter!). It is yours. Take the Ram van and come to a football game or swim meet. Go to the President’s Ball at homecoming and watch me attempt to dance. Fall in love with the Bronx, the birthplace of hip hop, and Sonia Sotomayor and J.Lo.]

Fordham

You are part of Fordham – all of Fordham – with Rose Hill and Lincoln Center and in a few years, the London campus too.

RETENTION AND BELONGING

This is one of those moments that will freeze in your memory forever. I know that because I can actually remember my first few weeks of college, back in the last century. 

I got into my dream school – but it would cost a fortune my parents didn’t have, and the university down the street gave me a full scholarship.  It seemed like a better decision, especially because I was already nervous about going away from home.   I’d skipped a grade and was very young and painfully shy.   But I at least convinced my parents to let me live on campus.

Early morning on move-in day, I packed up the car all by myself and drove there before my parents were even awake.   I found my room, chose a bed, hung posters on the wall, waited nervously for my new roommate.  Once she arrived, I could tell pretty quickly from her stack of perfectly ironed jeans and underwear that we might not be the best match.

By the end of the first month, she put masking tape down the center of the room and forbade me from crossing over it.  We were in a battle of wills, or who would leave our especially big room, but I caved and switched to a smaller room and a happier new roommate.

I started to navigate classes and coursework. I realized – by getting a C on my first paper – that I would no longer be able to phone it in -- I’d have to work a lot harder than I had in high school.

I spent a lot of time wondering, “who am I?”  Am I just an extension of my parents?  Should I try to become the opposite of them? But what if they were actually right about the world?  It was – all of it – a lot. 

Students, you’ve probably been hearing lots of pep talks like “you got this! You’re not going to mess up! You’ll be fine!”

Those people mean well, but they aren’t telling you the truth. You are going to mess up! You’re going to sleep through a test or say a terrible thing to a roommate.

The question isn’t whether you stumble, it’s how you react. When I got that C on my first paper –I started to second-guess everything. I thought my whole value was in being an A student, but maybe I’m not that smart? Maybe I don’t belong here.

Eventually, I realized there was a far more obvious answer. I just needed to try harder. Stop turning in the rough draft. Actually learn how to write.

Here’s what the research shows -- the biggest predictor of success in college is not how perfect you are – it’s how well you handle adversity.  Whether you pick yourself up and brush yourself off, or sink into self-doubt.

When I mess up now – which happens just about every day – I do what the Jesuits call an Examen.

I notice that something made me cringe, because I didn’t act right. And then, instead of spiraling into shame as I did all the time at your age – I try this –

What lesson do I need to learn here?   Ok – got it – now I’m going to forgive myself and move forward. I’m going to try harder tomorrow – just tomorrow.  One day at a time.

If you get a bad grade on a test and start wondering whether you’re smart enough -- let me tell you something that should blow your mind.  What neuroscience has proved is that studying doesn’t just teach you the material, it literally makes you smarter.  It builds new synapses in your brain.

So don’t waste time doubting yourself – work.  Have the courage to try again.  Make yourself smarter.

I remember the daunting feeling of isolation in those first weeks of college.  It takes time to find your people.

At first, you’ll gravitate towards those who grew up in a neighborhood like yours, with a family like yours. And there’s comfort in that.

But don’t miss out on the chance to have late-night conversations about growing up on a farm, or across the globe, with someone who has a funny-sounding accent and a totally different set of life experiences. You won’t get opportunities like that very often in life.

And guess what?  If you’re curious –you’ll find the most amazing things in common with people who seem so different from you on the surface. Your embarrassing obsession with Pochemon or Stranger Things. Being a class clown, or being bullied as a kid.

I got an embarrassing reminder of this when I was a bit older, teaching my first law school class.  One of my students was from Maryland, blond and pretty, and forever falling asleep.  I thought I had her pegged -- entitled and lazy. I was especially annoyed that she made me feel like a bad teacher because I couldn’t keep her attention.

After the last class, she came up and apologized to me for her exhaustion. She told me that she was working two jobs to support her younger sister and brother. Their parents were alcoholics and drug addicts, so the minute she turned 18, she escaped, but refused to leave her siblings behind. She went to court and filed for custody. Her parents fought her every step of the way, and the case went all the way to the Maryland Supreme Court.  “That’s why I wanted to go to law school,” she told me proudly.

Can you imagine? I was so mad at myself for underestimating her. For assuming I knew who she was based on so little. Because you just never know what people have been through, just like they won’t know you until they ask.   

Be open.  Listen hard.  Ask good questions.

When you find someone raised to believe different ideas than you do – don’t bristle.  Don’t assume they are terrible people, or stupid, or wrong. 

Be open. Listen hard. Ask good questions. The glory of college is how much we learn – inside the classroom and out of it. From brilliant faculty, but most of all from each other. But you can’t learn if you don’t listen.

This world of social media we all live in teaches us the opposite.  It tells us to declare ourselves on every issue, before we really know anything about it. It flattens complicated subjects into memes. It is full of name-calling, insults and sarcasm.

And boy is that tempting. I don’t know about you, but I love being self-righteous. It is my favorite guilty pleasure. I love posting snarky things on Facebook and trying to win an argument. 

But here’s what I’ve realized. Venting does NOT change the world. Persuasion does. And I’m pretty sure that sarcasm and snark have never persuaded anyone of anything in human history.

At Fordham, we are going to prepare you to matter to the world.  We are going to stuff your heads full of knowledge.  We are going to teach you the skills to make a difference – to solve complicated problems. To see other people – really see them. And we’re going to inspire you to change the world.

I should end there, but one last thing.

Make friends. You’ve already started making your first-week friends, a few of whom will stick for life.

But choose your friends carefully. Don’t just pick the person with swagger who makes you feel important because they’re mean to everyone but you. Pick the person with integrity who makes you feel good about yourself, the one who makes you laugh, but not by mocking other people.

Because there is this thing about college life. Sometimes people do things in groups they wouldn’t do alone.

There will be a moment, at four in the morning, when someone will try to taunt you into acting badly. And at that moment, I want you to remember who you are. Hold onto that. Never lose it.

Fordham is a place full of celebration, full of silliness and joy. It is also a place full of integrity and character. You help create that now. Because individually, none of you have much power to shape student culture. But collectively, you have all the power.

Students – Here are my prayers for you:

To be open and curious, willing to be challenged, searching for truth with determination and humility.

To be grateful, leaning into the possibilities of life, finding the best in people. 

To be brave enough to really know yourself. To face your weaknesses knowing that they are often just the reverse of your strengths.

To resist the temptation of cynicism – to have the courage to hope.

And most of all, to be men and women for others.

Welcome to college.

Welcome to Fordham.